_{“I left the house today with the intention of going for a run, but instead, I ended up stuffing my face. Oops.”}

                 _{’‘I’m tired…            I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.“ He’s just talking to himself now, I guess.}

          _{“I can feel you forgetting me…         Why does everyone always forget me?” I’m pretty sure he’s going mad.}

            _{”Do you ever just put your entire iTunes on playlist and laugh at the random stuff you’ve got on there? I don’t even remember buying half of this stuff.”}

            _{“I could really use a fucking lap dance right now.” No one is gonna give you a lap dance, Jamie.}

        _{“Will someone bake a cake with me, and watch Spongebob?”}

            _{“My dick hurts and I’m not sure if it’s morning wood or if I’m just horny.” No one wants to know this.}

        _{“I don’t need a man to make it happen, I get off being free. I don’t need a man to make me feel good, I get off doing my thing. I don’t need a ring around my finger, to make me feel complete.” Don’t sing that song so loudly, Jamie. You’re in the middle of the street for gods sake.}

           _{’‘Am I the only guy who wonders what it’s like to have boobs?“}

              _{“Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?” Jamie stop laughing at you own joke, it wasn’t even funny.}